Five in Five Update: Date #3

Here's what my Saturday looked like:

5am - Get up, quick morning routine then hit the highway
7:30am - Yoga on the beach near Caloundra
9:30am - Mindfulness Meditation Coaching Course
1pm - fish and chips on the beach then hit the highway home
3pm - return missed call from Date #4 (drinks and tapas penciled in diary for this Friday)
3:30pm - enter 'fish and chips' induced coma
6pm - Get ready for Date #3
7pm - Arrive at "The Three Monkeys" West End for Dessert with Date #3

One of my biggest aims as a Yoga teacher (and human being) is to make the principles of Yoga and Mindfulness relevant and accessible to all. Yoga and Mindfulness, in my experience, provide us with universal tools that we can use in our daily lives to feel more content, calm and connected. And yes, these tools can be applied to 'dating' too.

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, there are 8 Pillars of Mindfulness, which if embraced in our daily life, are a prescription for living a more full life. If at any time, we find ourselves in a place of dis-ease, we can reflect on these 8 pillars to see what we need an extra dose of to bring us back to wholeness and out of suffering.

The 8 pillars are:

1. Non-Judging
2. Patience
3. A Beginners Mind
4. Trust
5. Non-striving
6. Acceptance
7. Letting Go
8. A Sense of Humor

You might be wondering how on earth this translates to dating but by gosh it does!

Let's look at 'Beginner's Mind'. The Japanese Zen Master, Suzuki Roshi, is famous for having said,

"In the Beginner's mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few"

Beginners come to new experiences not knowing so much and therefore open. Having a beginner's mind, means taking the chance to see something as if for the first time, without allowing our illusion of knowing, prevent us from being present to the experience unfolding in front of us.

Okay, back to Date #3... I had already had a very successful Date #1. I had been to our venue many times (some might say I was a 'regular') AND I already knew Date #3 pretty well through mutual friends. As I walked the million miles to the venue (NB: Parking in West End on a Saturday night is horrific), I realised I needed to flick the switch and put on my beginner's mind. As a result, I learnt a lot about Date #3 that I didn't already know. And my experience at the venue was different to any time before it... and it was a lot of fun!

So, how was Date #3? First, let's look at this excerpt from "The Complete Book of Rules - time tested secrets for capturing Mr Right"...

So to answer that question..."Date #3 was nice! We had a lot of fun" :)

And here is the mandatory photo to prove it happened...

"The Complete Book of Rules" also suggests complimenting your date on 'his choice of restaurant, shirt or good sense to ask you out'. Who am I to break the rules?! I kindly complimented Date #3 on his choice of venue as we entered, to which he replied, "I'm pretty sure you chose this place in the end". Oooops! Good time to embrace Mindfulness Pillar #8 - A sense of humour. :)

And by the way, Date #3... I really like your shirt! ;)

If you like Date #3's choice of shirt too, let him know by clicking here:
http://my.artezpacific.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=532976&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=direct%2fnone

Five in Five update: Date #2 = Postponed

My father is a man of many talents. One of his greatest talents is embarrassing the crap outta me, and what better time to do that, than when (he thinks) I'm on a Five in Five charity date.

Last night while I was visiting my parents, I gave them a run down on my dates thus far. Of course they wanted the credentials and job titles of each and I reminded them that this was dating 'for charity' and not to marry me off just yet. Dad raised an eyebrow when I mentioned that one of my dates was a bus driver/stunt man, but said no more.

As I got in the car to leave, I called back to Dad and said, "Make sure you look at the sky about 6:30pm tomorrow night, you might see Batman fly over on his way to our date."

"Batman??? You didn't tell me the stunt man was BATMAN" Now Dad was interested.

So tonight, when I was scheduled to be on my Putt Putt date with 'Batman', this picture message came through on my phone from Dad:

(Thankfully) I had to postpone tonight's date as I've picked up the tummy bug that's going around the office. 'Batman' suggested strawberry milk and smarties as a good all-round remedy... and who am I to argue with Batman.


Putt Putt Golf with Date #2 (aka Batman) will be rescheduled for next week.

Progress check:

• Dessert with Date #3 on Saturday
• Will make contact with Date #4 and Date #5 tomorrow
• Waiting on contact from Date #6 (yes, there is a bonus round - I'm not going to turn people away from a charity event)
• Donations have come rolling in since the successful completion of Date #1 - I am now only $20 away from my goal of $200
• Five and Five is now giving away a skydive experience to the highest fundraiser and their favourite date. I might as well smash two fears at the same time - awkward social situations and HEIGHTS.

Thank you to everyone who has donated funds, bachelors and enthusiasm to this great cause!!

If you think fathers who embarrass their daughters on dates should be applauded, donate here:
http://my.artezpacific.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=532976&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2ffiveinfive.org.au%2f

If you think fathers who embarrass their daughters on dates should be disgraced, donate here:
http://my.artezpacific.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=532976&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2ffiveinfive.org.au%2f

Email of the day "I've got you a date"

I don't know who's getting into this Five in Five charity dating thing more, me or my colleagues. Two days in a row I have opened my email inbox to find emails like this:

Subject: a date 

Hi Kirsty,
I have found you a date.
His name is: _________ His number is: __________
I told him all about Five in Five and he is keen. Call him.
Have fun x

And I thought finding 5 dates was going to be a challenge. Apparently not!

I'm interrupting this dating blogroll to talk about... CAKE!

Today is my colleague Gai's birthday. Gai is my trainer at DFR and taught me everything I know. One of her first lessons was the importance of showering your trainer with treats and birthday songs on her special day. I made this raw strawberry bliss cake, and I'm posting the recipe below as requested. Happy Birthday Gai!! (p.s. I'm a trainer now and my birthday is coming up soon... just sayin')

RAW STRAWBERRY BLISS CAKE 

Ingredients

Crust:
• 1 cup raw almonds
• 1/2 cup raw pecans or walnuts
• 2/3 cup chopped dates
• 1/4 tsp sea salt

Filling:
• 1 1/2 cups raw macadamia nuts, soaked overnight
• 1/3 cup raw agave nectar
• 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
• seeds of 1 vanilla bean (I often add a few drops of pure vanilla extract too)
• 1 cup chopped strawberries

• Instructions

Crust:
1. In a food processor, process the almonds and pecans to a coarse meal. Add the dates and salt and process to combine. The mixture should stick together when press between two fingers. If it seems a little dry, add a teaspoon or two of water.
2. Press the mixture firmly and evenly into the bottom of two mini 4.5-inch springform pans (or one large 10-inch spring form pan). Set aside.

Filling:
1. In a food processor or high-powered blender, process the macadamia nuts, agave nectar, lemon juice and vanilla bean seeds until smooth (this may take a few minutes).
2. Spoon about 1/3 cup of the mixture into each of the springform pans and smooth out the top.
3. Add the strawberries to the remaining mixture in the food processor and process until smooth.
4. Add the mixture to the top of the vanilla filling (there should be enough for about 1/3 cup each) and smooth out with an offset spatula or the back of a spoon. Place the pans in the freezer for at least 2 hours or more to set. This tart can be frozen for several weeks. Just wrap the pan tightly in plastic wrap and tin foil. Let sit at room temperature for about 10 minutes before serving

You may now lick the bowl! :) 

Date #1 *check*

Last night I had my first date for Five in Five. It's been a while since I've been on a date, and this was my first ever 'blind' date, so I was a bit nervous. Okay, maybe I was more than A BIT nervous. My belly was aching, I'd left my favourite lipstick at work (crisis alert!! ... could I get there and back and still make it to my date on time?!?!) AND I'd changed outfits a dozen times (and still came back to my original choice). Even the experienced daters do that, right?!

After my 7th outfit change, my phone beeped. A message from Date #1. Ah Oh!... Thankfully he wasn't cancelling and just wanted to make sure I could get to the venue given the horrible wet weather. (Thoughtful ... *check*). Half an hour later I was out the door, pouting my second favourite lipstick and sitting in the car, one block from the venue... yup, I was too early!

4 minutes and 27 seconds before our agreed meeting time, I rolled into the carpark, jumped out and walked towards the restaurant. Having never met Date #1, nor seen a photo of him, all I knew was that I was looking for a guy in my age range, 185cm with dark hair and green eyes. Oh wait, the guy walking in front of me fits that description. He got to the door and pulled out his phone. I asked if he was looking for me (not in those words, cos that's just corny) and sure enough... that was him. (Punctual ... *check* Good-looking *check!*)

And so began my Five in Five charity dating experience. The belly ache quickly subsided as the conversation and laughs flowed. We talked about dating protocol (and I knew it inside out because I had googled it in advance). We shared travel stories, talked about our families, friends and interests.

I had always thought 'dating' was scary. As far as I was aware, there were a million rules about what you could and couldn't talk about, who should pay, how you should end it etc. But (in true ex-English teacher style, I consulted the dictionary)... dictionary.com defines 'a date' as 'a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person.' Ah ha! You mean it's not 'an awkward meeting of two people, who fire questions at each other to determine if this is the person they will spend the rest of their life with while giving little way about themselves to avoid disappointing the other person?!' Wow, you really do learn something new every day.

Turns out my date last night was the true dictionary definition of a date. A social appointment arranged in advance with another person. No social awkwardness or expectation, just good genuine fun. I drove home thinking "I LOVE charity work."

And, as promised the mandatory photographic evidence of Date #1...

If you want to join me in celebrating the successful completion of my first date, donate here...
http://my.artezpacific.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=532976&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2ffiveinfive.org.au%2f

*Five in Five* Progress check

It's one week and one day into the Five in Five dating challenge and boy has it been a big day of first!

Here's what happened today:
1. First contact from a date! Date is scheduled for next Monday night.
2. First donation (already 1/5 of the way to my sponsorship goal)
3. First date to cancel because he's met someone special (and not for charity)... I love a guy who's loyal!

So that means... I still need two more dates! Hook a sista up ya'll!

And now for a few shout outs...
Shaw -  thank you for getting the donation ball rolling!
Steph - thanks for finding my first date (and being so excited about it!!)
Kerri & Matty D - thanks for all your expert dating advice and one-liners :)

For my date on Monday, we're sticking with a traditional dinner date as that's what works best with our schedules. So tell me,

What's your favourite dinner spot in or around Brisbane? Why?

I'm Single and Ready to Mingle... for charity of course

Last week, as I was driving to my long over-due haircut appointment, I heard an ad on the radio for *Five in Five*. You can read all about it here http://fiveinfive.org.au

Basically, it's a challenge to go on five dates in five weeks with five different people...WHY? For charity of course! The catch is, it's dating the old-fashined way. No online profiles or facebook stalking. Instead the dates must be recommended by people I know and (hopefully) trust. 

I decided I was up for the challenge and signed up when I got home. The challenge started the very next day so I knew I had to get cracking straight away. Over the next few days I told all my friends, my family and colleagues about the challenge. But,  still no dates and I was due to head off on a week-long work trip.


Week one is now over and I have been on 0 dates! I have also been on 3 flights and in 4 cities, letting people know about the cause in each place. While I have been away, my cupids (colleagues) have been busy at work and thanks to them and their networking I have 3 dates in the pipeline!! 

I sent a text message my brother to let him know about the progress. The conversation went something like this:

Me: I just got my dating update from the girls at work. They've organised 3 dates for me - a policeman, a cardiac scientist and a stunt man... that's a wide variety of conversation topics I'm going to need to cover!

 Bro: Haha. OMG You should blog this insanity.

So here it is... a blog series about my experience of facing my fears and going on five dates, with five strangers in five weeks. All in the name of raising funds to help break the cycle of social disadvantage in our community.

And... I don't think the challenge has to stop there. As easy as coffee and dinner dates would be, let's make this FUN. Here are some of my date ideas so far. What was your favourite date?

- Mini Golf
- Hiking
- Kayaking
- Stand Up Paddleboarding
- Play a board game
- Cook together
- Laser tag
- outdoor movie / drive in
- Rock climbing
- zoo / aquarium
- cultural festival (It is Chinese New Year after all)
- Feed the ducks at the park
- Cycle around the city
- Take a class - Yoga, Cooking, Art
- Go to the Science Centre / Museum
- Go and see a live band
- Indoor rock climbing
- Go to the natural rock pools

Goly Gosh there are so many options! This is going to be SOOOOO much FUN!!

If this sounds like fun and you want to get involved, there are several ways that you can:

1. Join in (single and awesome people only)
2. Date me (a perfect opportunity for those who have been eagerly awaiting the opportunity to ask me out on a date)
3. Recommend a date (aka set me up with your single friend, son, colleague, neighbour, cute guy at the dog park...)
4. Sponsor me to reach my target of $200 for local charities (it's all about the money). 

The link to my sponsorship page and more information is:

http://my.artezpacific.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=532976&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3A%2F%2Ffiveinfive.org.au%2F