Five in Five Update: Date #6 The Lemon Law

If I had to choose 3 words to describe my experience doing the Five in Five Charity Dating Challenge, they would be:

COURAGE 

FUN

CONNECTION


Courage certainly played a huge part in this challenge. It seems that I was either hoping for some, feeling grateful for having found a little bit of it or appreciating it in my cupid colleagues and daring dates. 

The root of the word courage is cor - the Latin word for heart. Courage originally meant "to speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." Over time this definition has changed, and today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic. Heroics has it's place (just ask Batman), but I think speaking honestly and openly about who we are, what we're feeling, and about our life experiences and desires is the true meaning of courage. 

I am grateful that each of my five dates, had the courage to share themselves in such a courageous way. This kind of courage has a ripple effect. Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little kinder and the world a little braver. And that, can only be a good thing.

As for connection, I refer to Brene Brown's Definition. Brown defines connection as 

... the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

I am again grateful that I experienced this kind of connection with each of my five dates. But... remember there was a Date #6?

Well sometimes, there's just no connection and instead of feeling seen, heard and valued you sit there feeling judged, insulted and devalued. And for those dates, you need ... THE LEMON LAW!

My brother told me about the Lemon Law after seeing Barney introduce it on How I Met Your Mother. Apparently this is where my *single* brother gets most of his relationship advice. But this one, I have to agree, is a keeper...

Similar in nature to lemon laws for used cars, Barney's Lemon Law for dating entitles a person to call off the date that is going no where (ie. there is no connection) within the first five minutes with no repercussions.

So print of some of these bad boys and keep them in your back pocket... you never know when you'll need to enforce the Lemon Law.

As we can't put a price on these Lemon Law printable cards, the best way to show your appreciation for now having an escape from any future "bad dates" is to donate via the link below...

http://my.artezpacific.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=532976&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2ffiveinfive.org.au%2f

Five in Five Update: Date #5 ... DONE!

Two major news stories came out of Brisbane at lunch time on Friday...

Story #1: I completed Date #5 of the Five in Five Charity Dating Challenge!!

Story #2: The Queen Street Mall was evacuated as dozens of heavily-armed police took down a shirtless gunman. 

Hard to believe isn't it!? Date #5!!! ... which means... It's all done... or is it?... More on that breaking news headline later...

The week in review:
I have to say, up until this week I had been going great guns with this Five in Five Charity Dating Challenge. But in the last few days, with no 5th Date scheduled by the challenge deadline, I was feeling a little under the gun. Failing the Five in Five challenge had never been an option... I thought I'd dodged a bullet when a friend agreed to be my 'Date #5 backup plan' but he was struck down with a bad case of the man flu. 

When I first told my colleague Gai about this challenge, she went downstairs, all guns blazing, and hit up one of our colleagues for a date. He said no. And that was that. But with only 3 days until the end of the challenge and no Date #5, I decided to bite the bullet and send him an email. Would he stick to his guns?? 

At the 11th hour, he appeared in my office and surrendered. The date was scheduled for later that day.

At 12 noon Date #5 arrived to collect me from my office and we ventured over to our local cafe for a cuppa (well away from the siege in the Mall). We spent the next hour chatting about our roles at work, plans for the weekend, home renovations, holiday destinations, investing, meal planning, tax, dating and future goals. It's amazing how you can work with someone for over a year but not know anything about them. That is, until a charity date forces you to actually get to know each other.

" I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return." (quoted in the Broadway Show Wicked)  

The people I have met through the Five in Five charity dating challenge have been no exception. In fact, I might even go as far as to say that I have learnt as much about myself during these 5 weeks of dating as I have on intensive yoga and self-inquiry retreats in the past. 

In sharing his own goals, Date #5 made me realise that it's time for me to re-visit my vision and goals and start taking some action towards them... NOW! 

When I first signed up for this Five in Five Charity Dating Challenge I was doubtful I could find 5 dates within the 5 weeks. Anyone will tell you there is a man drought in Brisbane! But by being excited about the challenge, putting it out there as a S.M.A.R.T goal and enrolling everyone around me in that goal, I not only reached my goal... I SMASHED IT! 

What's a smart goal you ask? 

S.M.A.R.T goals are:

Specific

Measurable

Attainable (50% of the time... you gotta give yourself a challenge!)

Realistic

Timley

For example:

I will go on five dates with five kind, easy-going, smart and irresistibly good-looking eligible bachelors by Friday 8th March 2013 and raise $200 for charity.

Did I achieve my SMART goal?! YES! 

In fact, I went on 6 dates in 3 weeks and made $325 for charity. That is the power of setting goals...and sticking to them!

Now it's your turn. Grab a pen and write down your answers to these questions:

1. In 30 seconds or less, write down the 3 most important goals in your life right now?

2. What would you do if you won $10 million?

3. What would you do if you had 6 months to live?

4. What one great thing would you dare to do if you knew you could not fail?

5. What is the legacy you wish to leave?

Now that you know what's important to you...

Turn those answers into SMART goals.

E.g. If your answer to Question #3 was: travel to Spain with my family... your goal is:

I take my family to Spain for 2 weeks by December 2015.

Then you get to fill in the steps to get you there. For example:

• How much money do you need to save each week to get you there?
• What action do you need to take today to be able to achieve that goal? (e.g. make coffee instead of spending $5 a day to have someone make it for you)

Anyway...I digress... Back to Date #5.

So after having a coffee and almost getting hit (slight exaggeration) by a fresh produce delivery van, Date #5 walked me back to my office. We were greeted by Cupid Gai who took the photo to prove the date happened... 

And here's where we are at:

• $325 in the donation kitty.  Donate here and get me to $400 so I can go on some 2nd dates!
• Five Dates in Five Weeks COMPLETE! - Thank you to Date #5 for saving the day

It may be over...

Or maybe, this is just the beginning...?

Five in Five Update: How far would you go to get out of a date?

Last night I decided to treat myself to Grill'd (again). With only a few days until the end of the Five in Five dating challenge, I thought it would be a really good opportunity to try out my burger shop pick up line. But when I looked around at all the couples and 17 year olds, I decided to tuck that pick up line away for another day.

As I waited for my order I started to contemplate how on earth I was going to get out of doing a dance class with Potential Date #5! Fake a kidnapping?... Break a leg? I came to the conclusion that there was no getting out of it, and the only thing that needed getting out of was my comfort zone.

Aside from humiliating myself on a dance floor, another thing far beyond my comfort zone is approaching someone random for a date. As I left Grill'd, Kung Fu Fighter Burger in hand, and headed out of the rain, towards my car, I noticed a handsome young lad coming my way on the escalator. Was this my moment? How would I get his attention? ...

 

I put on my confident, 'I can take on the world' look and stepped onto the escalator... and slipped... straight onto my butt. Legs (and burger) in the air. The thud was so loud that everyone came running to my aid. Yes, even above-mentioned handsome young lad. He helped get me up off the escalator before the bottom and carried my now-squashed Kung Fu Fighter burger as I waddled slowly towards my car. With a busted elbow, an aching lower back and a bruised ego, all I could think about was getting home and hiding. He offered to drive me home... I refused. He asked if he could give me his number so I could call him when I got home safely... I refused. Instead, I kindly thanked him for his help, and sent him on his way. 

My immediate thought as I drove off was: 

"Wow! It looks like the universe doesn't want me going dancing after all'. 

That thought was quickly followed by: 

"Why oh WHY didn't I take his number?!? Or at least taken a photo and called that Date #5!?"

Hopefully I left a good enough impression in my clumsy disorientated state that he'll decide to track me down... for a date... before tomorrow. No, this is not far-fetched. All he'd have to do is take the shirt he was wearing to forensics and have them do a DNA test on the blood from my elbow... then he'd know who I was and could send me a Facebook friend request... easy! And totally do-able in 24 hours.

Aside from playing slip and slide on escalators, I have been busy tying up lose ends for the last week of the Five in Five challenge. I wanted to fit in another date before "Potential Date #5' on Saturday in case it didn't count. Here's where we are at:

• 4 dates done, 1 date to go
• Email sent to charitable colleague asking for after work date tomorrow night (no response - he's most likely away on a course ... or pretending to be)
• Lined up a friend to be Plan B Date #5 in event of 'no response' from above colleague
• Plan B Date #5 is now bedridden with a bad case of the Man Flu
• Dancing Date with Date #5 still stands
• Incident report lodged with centre management - will attempt to get a copy of the video footage for entertainment purposes (and to show Batman that I can do 'stunts' too)
• Five in Five Challenge (officially) ends in just over 24 hours!!
• $245 in the donation kitty - thank you!!
• Several votes have been received for who gets the second date (including self-nominations from the dates themselves!!) - send your nominations in now via Facebook.

            

With the Five in Five challenge quickly drawing to a close, now is the time to donate!

To those who have read my blog, helped find dates, donated, provided dating advice or picked me up off the escalator when an attempt at getting a date went pear-shaped ... thank you! Your kindness is not wasted!!

Five in Five Update: Date #2 'Bring your A-game'

On Thursday night, I headed to Victoria Park Golf Course for a game of Putt Putt with Date #2 (which was actually Date #3). 

To set the scene... Date #2 had previously worked in my office and left before I started working there. Within a week of finding out I was single, my colleagues were on a mission to set us up. They were convinced we'd make the perfect couple and, despite us having never met, had pretty much planned our wedding and named our first born child...eeeeek! One day he stopped by for a visit and I could see why my colleagues had rated him so highly... he was obviously quite the catch.

Fast forward a few months and here I am in the office, telling the girls I've signed up to do Five in Five - Five dates in five weeks with five different peo... I hadn't even finished explaining it and my colleague Gai had already emailed Date #2 the details. He was in. 

We exchanged a few text messages and the date was set - Putt Putt if the weather was fine, bowling and a burger if it was raining.

Now you already know from my previous post that my father is a big fan of this guy. Date #2 is a bus driver and stunt man, and after my dad's recent 'stunt' falling down an escalator backwards at Central Station, he thought they'd be kindred spirits. My best friend is pretty keen for her 'almost born' son to have an Uncle Batman and my colleagues 'just want us both to be happy'.

With pressure coming at me from all angles I knew I had to bring my A-game (pun intended)... 

Those who know me well, know I have a pretty witty sense of humour and a love of language. One of my 'things' is that I often interpret what people say literally and end up in a fit of giggles. And when you're going to play putt putt with a very handsome bus-driving stunt man, there are many things that could be said and taken out of context. We created a 'whatever you say Kirsty, don't say this' list, which included:

"Do you have a favourite route?" (bus driver)

And due to my readership (hi Mum and Dad) I'll stop that list right there.

So with a long list of what not to say and a whole lot of external expectations on my mind, I was paralysed and  didn't play my A-game (in Putt Putt or dating) but I did have a lot of fun... and who knows, maybe I'll get a second go... 

If you think Date #2 should give me a second chance to drop the expectations and play my dating A-game, donate here ...

http://my.artezpacific.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=532976&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2ffiveinfive.org.au%2f

p.s. As we putted our way around the course, we chatted a bit about dating and how to pick up. We have both had the experience of a random pick up - him on the bus, and me at the shopping centre. We both gave credit where credit was due and followed through with a date. There's something to be said for having the guts to pick up. 

Here's a little diagram to show just how simple it is...

And now for the PROGRESS CHECK:

• 4 dates done, 1 to go (Date #4 blog coming soon)
• Date #5 scheduled for next Saturday - this one is completely out of my comfort zone... watch this space
• Financial goal reached - currently $245 in the donation kitty! Donations close on Friday so hop to it!